Pain…
Greetings dear friends & fellow navigators, welcome to my world again this week. Twelve months back I was knocked of my byke & it took this long to the week for my ankle to heal… Last Monday I made an error of judgement & fell of the byke ~ again; damaging the same ankle, fortunately not as severely… The thing about pain is it teaches us, most of the time, more about life than happiness ever could. Someday it will all make sense…
Speaking from experience here, when you are in pain, you see everything with a filter of sadness. It does not make sense because all of a sudden, you realize the sun & the moon are always alone, & the vast sky has never been gloomier. The rain is now just a static noise bringing too many thoughts to your head. As the memories hit harder, you fall deeper. And even though it seems like everything is different, nothing has really changed. With happiness gone, you go back to a state of survival which makes you uneasy & scared.
Pain dances at the fingertips of change. It slowly creeps in. We know something is different but we do not realize something is changing. It is only when we look back we realize the difference between then & now. We do not know the moments we have just lived define us. We do not know the moments we are living right now are the ones we will miss one day. Maybe this is what it means to grow up. To know as we grow, things will always keep changing & there will often be pain
associated with these feelings.
Sometimes good things fall apart to make space for better things to come together. Every story has an end, but every end gives birth to a new beginning. Indeed, it will all begin to make sense. You do not get what you want, but you get what you need.
Again, one day, it will all make sense. And you will realize, it happened for a reason. The nights when tears were shed will be the same nights which make you a wiser person. Those would be the nights to teach you not to settle for anything less than what you deserve.
One day, we realize you are grateful to all the people who let you go so you could find the one person who would not. This pain will be the reason why you will fight for your happiness, for a better life, for answers, for closure, & for other things you never dared to ask before.
One day, you will be thankful for the things not to work out because when you are older, sipping a cup of tea in your chair reflecting; you will realize everything you have been through leads you to where you are meant to be & with the person you are meant to be with. This was pain making you a better person & indeed humbled you.
You will feel pain, & you will make mistakes. But someday, somehow, it will make sense. When it does, you will be at a completely different time than the one you were in when you were trying to figure things out. The pieces might make sense, but they will no longer hold the same meaning when you really needed to understand them. Our “someday” may not be today or tomorrow; & “somehow” may not be the way we would want it to be. However, it will come.
You should not see too far into the distance. Your life is not a single grand plan in motion. You are thousands of stories written together into a single book.
You will begin to see life without the filters of sadness again. It will not be hard forever because nothing is forever. Somehow life will start seeming more beautiful than you can remember & the smell of rain in the air will excite you beyond measure, again.
The world proves to us each day happiness exists all around us & we just have to make sure we do not blind ourselves with our own filters. It may look like autumn right now, but spring is coming and life will find a way. Give yourself time. It will make sense.
Just few observations again dear friends, & provide merely an opinion in my world. Thank you again for stopping by, I appreciate your being here. If my journey encourages you also, all is well with my soul. I hope your days are filled with love & affection. Looking forward to being back next time; this is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson with my best wishes.
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