Changes…
Greeting dear friends & fellow navigators, & welcome to my world this week. My last article was sharing on some memories throughout my career. Today I thought I would extend this further by listening to changes & when people only hear what they want to listen to.
When someone reaches out to me, I often try to be there for them. I understand they are looking for someone who will patiently hear them, maybe even guide them. So I listen. I sit through the entire conversation, nodding along, truly empathizing with their emotions.
These are often the heaviest conversations, deep & reflective, sometimes drifting into philosophical territory. One thought flows into the next, like a gentle river slipping over boulders, carrying us through their tangled feelings. It feels like we are on a journey together, only to realize, in the end, I was walking it alone.
Because the truth is, regretfully, some people are not looking for advice. They are looking for validation. The only words they want to hear are the ones they want to listen to. The only thoughts to make sense are the ones they think are right. It does not matter what I have to say because their mind was made up long before the conversation even began. They do not want new perspectives; they want someone to agree with the one they already have.
No matter how many times I listen, no matter how many times I speak, it sometimes feels like my time & words go unappreciated. They approach the conversation with a closed mind, unwilling to entertain any contrary ideas. Yet, I keep listening. I keep engaging, quietly hoping, one day, they will actually hear what I have to say.
It took me a long time to understand some people will believe only what they want to believe. It is not my place to change them. We can offer them the warmth of our comfort, & at times, the harshness of the truth. But whether they accept it or not, is entirely up to them. We can light the way for them, like a torch illuminating the path ahead, but the choice to walk down it is theirs alone.
I often take the position now, it is not our responsibility to change people. If they cannot see how far removed they are from the reality of the world around them, no amount of effort from us can change it. We all have our own battles to fight, & our own wounds to heal. Expecting us to save someone who is not even trying to save themselves is unfair.
Sometimes, though, they do not need advice or truth ~ they just need someone to listen, & this
is okay ~ we can be the person for them. But when they keep repeating the same mistakes,
when the conversation always circles back to the same regrets, one can start to lose
patience. It is one thing to provide a safe space for them to vent, but we cannot become the
sanctuary they run to every time life falls apart.
We can knock on their door all we want, but if they do not open it, we are never getting in.
Not everyone is ready to hear what we have to say. We can only give so much before we
start to lose ourselves in the process. There is a fine line between being supportive & drained, &
I have learned it is okay to protect our own energies. Our peace is ours to protect.
We cannot save everyone, & we do not have to. It is okay to let go of what we cannot
control. It is okay to focus on those who truly listen & value the effort we bring. This is where our
time & energy can truly make a difference. Change cannot be forced. It must be embraced.
It is not our place to change someone, sometimes, we just have to let them find their own
way.
Just few observations again dear friends, & provide an opinion in my world. Thank you for
stopping by, I appreciate your being here. If my journey encourages you also, all is well with
my soul. Looking forward to next week; this is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson with best wishes..
This Post Has 0 Comments