Answers…
Greeting dear friends & fellow navigators, & welcome to my world today. Sometimes I just sit & stare at the screen. Not out of boredom, but because I do not know what to click. There are a hundred tabs open in my head, & none of them feel like the one I want. Or maybe they all do, & this is the problem.
We live in the most extraordinary time to be alive. Everything is here. Everything is possible. With a swipe, a scroll, or a search, I can learn a new language, change careers, build a company, write a book, record a song, or escape into another world. I can be anything.
The world is screaming with opportunities, & yet I freeze. Not because I am lazy, or I do not want it. But because I want too much. I want to write, to build, to create, to explore. I want to be present & also wildly ambitious. I want depth, variety & I want to feel like I am moving forward, but sometimes all I do is circle around the question, “What should I do next?”
I have achieved things before, & finished projects, learned skills, & even surprised myself. But now, the next thing does not feel obvious. It feels heavy. Like a door I cannot open without shutting a hundred others.
Now, we have machines. AI doing things faster than I can imagine, drawing, coding, writing, & thinking. Better than the average person. Maybe even better than me. The bar just became higher, & I find myself wondering if the time I spent learning something was already wasted. It makes every new decision feel urgent, & overwhelming. As if I have to be a master at many things just to stand still.
Some days I want to chase everything. On other days, I want to hide from all of it. Because every choice feels like a risk. The risk of being wrong, of wasting time, or of finding out I am not good enough.
But maybe this is the trap. The belief there is a right choice, & if I just picked the perfect thing, everything else would fall into place. But what if there is no perfect? What if most things only make sense after you begin? What if beginning does not feel heroic at all? What if it feels like dragging yourself through mud while everyone else seems to be sprinting on pavement?
You start something, only to question it a week later. You switch paths, only to look back & wonder what might have happened if you had just stayed. It is not clarity, but constant churn. Maybe this is the point nobody talks about ~ perhaps most of us are building something out of confusion, not certainty.
You finish a thing, & there is no applause. No inner peace. Just more questions. More options. There are days when I romanticise becoming someone else entirely. Moving to a remote village. Making coffee for strangers. Leaving behind all ambitions which once felt urgent.
Sometimes I wonder, what if we were designed for fewer choices. What if we were meant to be villagers, blacksmiths, farmers, with destinies tied to place & time, like previous generations where? Not endless tabs. Not infinite feeds. Just one life. Lived deeply.
But here we are, alive in a time where you can be everything & nothing at once. Where success is so visible & yet so intangible. Where being multi-talented often just means chronically unsure.
Yet, in the middle of all this noise, sometimes I catch something small. A brief moment of flow, or a piece of music. A paragraph I wrote feeling like it came from a truer place. A conversation where I was fully present. These are not victories. They are breadcrumbs. Proof, even in this swirling storm of choices, something real can still be made.
Maybe the answer is not in choosing the perfect path, but in making a choice & letting it scar you a little.
Letting it teach you something you could not have known from the outside. Because the world might reward masters. But it needs wanderers too. People who explore without maps.
People who choose, not because it is the most efficient move, but because something inside them stirs. So no. I do not have the answer. But maybe this is not a failure. Maybe I am still searching. Still alive.
Still trying, when it would be so easy to stop. If this is where you are too, floating in this sea of maybes, then maybe all we need to do is swim in one direction long enough to see where it takes us. Not forever.
Just for now. Just long enough to feel the water shift beneath us. To feel our own movement again. Just few observations again dear friends, & provide an opinion in my world. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your being here. If my journey encourages you also, all is well with my soul. Looking forward to next week; this is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson with best wishes.
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