Sensitivity…

Greeting dear friends & fellow navigators, & welcome to my world today. It took me most of my life to realise something about myself: I was born sensitive, & honestly, I did not want this to be true. The word ~ “sensitive” ~ felt like something to be ashamed of. Something small, fragile, weak.

I spent years trying to be tougher, quieter, less affected by everything. I thought maybe if I could just not care so much, life would be easier. I would fit in better. I would not feel so out of place all the time.

But the truth is, I do care. I feel things deeply. I always have. I notice things other people brush off ~ the tone in someone’s voice, the shift of energy in a room, the weight behind the silence of a person. I cannot really “let things go” as quickly as others seem to. I carry moments with me. Sometimes this makes life heavier than it needs to be.

For a long time, I thought this made me broken. Like there was something wrong with me for feeling too much. But now I see ~ the pain was not from the sensitivity itself. It was from me constantly trying to deny it.

It hit me one day: nothing is really embarrassing or awkward. Those labels are things we pick up from other people, from the world around us. But they are not real. There is no right or wrong way to be a person. The point of life is not to be what others expect ~ it is to figure out how to live your life, in a way which makes sense to you. In a way of feeling honest.

And my truth is this: I was born sensitive. I feel a lot. I care deeply, & sometimes this means I need more rest, more space, more quiet. But it also means I can love hard. I can sit with people when they are hurting. I can find meaning in small moments.

I used to think I had to change this about myself. Now I am learning to work with it, & to stop apologising for it. There is nothing weak about feeling things. There is nothing wrong with needing time to process, or space to breathe. Sensitivity is not a flaw ~ it is just a way of being in the world. My way.

For the first time, I am starting to be okay with this. Not because I have figured everything out, but because I have finally stopped fighting who I am, & this feels like a kind of peace, & a lovely form of serenity…

Just few observations again dear friends, & provide an opinion in my world. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your being here. If my journey encourages you also, all is well with my soul. Looking forward to next week; this is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson with best wishes.

Looking forward to next week; this is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson with best wishes.
kenn@kennbutler.com

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