Changed…
Greeting dear friends & fellow navigators, & welcome to my world this week. I wrote about changes back in week #869 & as I suggested in opening last week: Occasionally, I have a quiet urge to step out of sight & hide in the darkness, so I disappear. Not To leave the world behind, but to find my place in it.
It is funny how people say “you have changed” like it is an insult. Like you were supposed to stay the same person forever, thinking the same thoughts, making the same mistakes, fitting the same version of yourself to make everyone comfortable.
You start growing, healing, setting boundaries & suddenly you are “different. You are “distant.” You are “not like you used to be”, & they are right. We may very well have changed. We are supposed grow, supposed to shift, supposed to outlearn your old self. This is what being alive is.
But the thing is, people do not usually get mad because you have changed, they get mad because they cannot access you the same way anymore.
I remember someone once told me, “You are not as easy to talk to as you used to be.” At first, it stung. I thought maybe I was becoming cold or arrogant. But later, I realized what they meant was: You are not as easy to manipulate as you used to be. You are not as easy to please. You finally learned how to say no & it is inconvenient for me.
This was the moment I stopped apologizing for evolving. You are not leaving people behind, you are leaving behind versions of yourself built for survival, not peace. You are not being “fake.” You are just not performing for approval anymore. You are not “acting brand new.” You are just finally honouring what the old you did not have the strength to.
The truth is growth will always make someone uncomfortable. Especially the people who benefited from your smaller self, & here is something they do not tell you: you do not owe anyone access to every version of you. If they only loved the version of you & not know your worth, this is not love, rather convenience.
When you start to grow, people will either adjust to your evolution or fall off where they belong. Both are gifts. Because real ones do not guilt you for changing. They grow with you. They cheer for your healing even if it means you show up differently. They know change is not rejection ~ it is rebirth.
So, the next time someone says, “You have changed,” do not shrink. Smile. Say, “Thank you.” Because what they are really saying is: “You are no longer who I could control.” “You are no longer stuck where I left you.” “You are finally becoming who you were always meant to be.”
And this is not arrogance, rather evolution. Growth is not about becoming unrecognizable. It is about finally recognizing yourself. So, keep changing, keep evolving. This is what life is, a constant becoming.
And if people cannot handle your growth, all is still okay. You were not meant to fit into the chapters you have already outgrown. Keep going. Keep growing. You are just catching up to who you really are. Take pride in this.
Just few observations again dear friends & provide an opinion in my world. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your being here. If my journey encourages you also, all is well with my soul. Looking forward to next week; this is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson with best wishes.
This Post Has 0 Comments