Eggshells…

Greeting dear friends & fellow navigators, & welcome to my world this week. Last week, I found myself replaying a simple conversation in my head over & over again. Does this ever happen with you?

It was not even an argument, or debate. Just a small moment where someone seemed a little upset with me, & I could not stop thinking, “Did I say something wrong? Should I have worded it differently?”

By the time I went to bed, I had apologized twice, not because I had done something hurtful, but because I felt uncomfortable with the idea someone might be unhappy because of me.

Then it hit me: this is not about one conversation. It is a pattern. Throughout life, many of us carry an invisible weight: ~ the responsibility of making sure everyone around us is happy.

We replay conversations. We overthink the words we said. We apologize for emotions we did not cause, & we exhaust ourselves trying to fix what was never really our problem to right any wrongs…

Somewhere along the way, we started believing peace means pleasing others & agreeing with them even when one should not do so.

But here is the truth no one told us growing up:

• People around you are adults enough.
• Their emotions are their own responsibility.
• Their inability to take a difference of opinion is not your problem.

If you were raised to be the good one, you probably learned to adjust. To smoothen every rough edge. To hold your tongue when you wanted to speak, & to stay calm even when your insides were screaming.

But this kind of peace comes at a cost ~ your own authenticity. You start shrinking yourself just to avoid being misunderstood. You start walking on eggshells in rooms never yours to fix.

And the saddest part? You begin to mistake performance for peace. Peace built on self abandonment is not peace; it is survival. Your job is not to keep everyone calm, rather to stay honest without guilt. Because maturity is not when everyone agrees with you. It is when you can stay grounded, even when they do not.

So next time you feel the urge to over-explain or over-apologize, pause. Take a breath. Remind yourself:

• You are not responsible for managing everyone else & their emotions.
• You are only responsible for staying true to your own.

Just few observations again dear friends & provide an opinion in my world. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your being here. If my journey encourages you also, all is well with my soul.

Looking forward to next week; this is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson with best wishes.

kenn@kennbutler.com

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