Where a rubber chicken rules the political roost
To begin with, referee Jonny Eagle laid out the rules.
Casting a striking figure in a blond mullet, fluorescent yellow t-shirt, knee high socks and brandishing a whistle, Eagle explained speeches would be strictly timed under threat of water pistols from Jill, the cowboy in the corner.
A chicken squawker kept the time, and a silent shimmy of jazz hands from the audience showed support for the candidates contesting the Nelson seat in next month’s election.
In the lobby of a packed Victory Community Centre, the Aunties for Action dispensed enrolment forms as voters of all ages in chinos and jeans, flat caps and wool jumpers and trucker caps settled in amicably.
Photo: BRADEN FASTIER / Nelson Mail
Dancing women in swirling skirts and hip scarves bedecked with coins and a four person band of folksy singers, SuperGold, entertained.
Incongruously, the Green Party candidate, Rohan O’Neill-Stevens, was dressed in a blue suit, while National Party candidate Blair Cameron was outfitted in green.
Before Cameron took the mic, candidates were asked by a member of the crowd to introduce themselves for the benefit of the blind.
“Great point,” said Cameron, before launching in.
“My name is Blair Cameron. I’m the National Party candidate for Nelson.”
But there was no pleasing everybody. “Too loud!” cried out a woman in the audience, prompting chuckles.
At the Not Your Normal Candidates meeting, a tradition organised by the Nelson Sustainable Transport Strategy Group (Nelsust) many of the questions on Wednesday night invariably focused on transport.
ACT party candidate Chris Baillie’s answers to questions around the future of Rocks Rd, active transport, and reducing transport emissions drew the mirth of one member of the audience.
Baillie said there was “nothing like a bit of social engineering” from the Greens and Labour, who were going to “force you into EVs” by stopping the import of petrol cars, and by banning oil and gas exploration“.
At that point, a man started to guffaw, his chortles prompting a short infectious wave of giggling across a sector of the crowd.
For his part, Cameron lightened the mood when asked if his party would consider deterring single drivers in cars.
He said he didn’t mind if they were “single drivers or married drivers or divorced drivers”.
Jazz hands were earned for Opportunity Party candidate Jodie Kuntzsch who said the party was willing to be a circuit breaker for the right-left gridlock, political flip-flopping, and point scoring.
O’Neill-Stevens urged those present to talk to friends, family and the world about what they wanted to see.
“Without that conversation, without that moment to dream and believe that something could be better, we will never see it happen,” he said, slightly passing over time and facing the rubber chicken and the pistol.
Labour party candidate Rachel Boyack said she took Labour’s transport spokesperson Tangi Utikere for a bike ride around Rocks Rd, but it was a “deeply unpleasant” experience. The road needed to be back on the agenda, she said.
However, Baillie said he walked and cycled around the road regularly, and didn’t “see the issues”. “What!?” whispered a woman under her breath, incredulous.
The meeting took a co-operative and agreeable turn when candidates were asked what of their opponents’ transport policies they supported.
Boyack was stoked that you now had to give way to a bus, though Baillie thought as an ex-policeman there would be issues around it yet to come.
O’Neill-Stevens cited the EV infrastructure rollout. Cameron said he supported Labour’s 2023 policy to build the Hope Bypass and pressed Boyack if she was still in favour of that, to which she nodded assent.
However, his favourite Labour Party policy of all time was KiwiSaver, he said.
Kuntzsch said there was a lot of common ground on electrification of households, and that was something that could move very quickly in the next term.
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