Trying Again…
Greeting dear friends & fellow navigators, & welcome to my world this week. There is a scene in Doctor Strange, towards the end of the movie, where many people considered underwhelming for a final act. But I thought it was brilliant. Using the Infinity Stone, Strange traps himself & the villain ~ Dormammu, in a never-ending time loop. Unlike many superhero movies where the protagonist puts up an epic fight, Doctor Strange merely bargains, then he fails, he dies, the clock rewinds, & he steps forward to do it all over again, for eternity.
But not even an eternity of failing can stop him from trying. In the end, Dormammu grows so frustrated & exhausted from killing him, he / it finally agrees to leave Earth. It is perhaps a bit corny to find a philosophical perspective in a
Marvel blockbuster, but this scene anchored itself in my mind. A display of strength which does not focus on physicality, but mentality ~ the persistence of a mind refusing to give up.
Even though we do not possess an Infinity Stone, if the lungs expand & the pulse persists, as long as the sun rises & the day resets, we are all in a loop of our own making ~ a series of “agains” & only end when we decide the bargain is over. So, who is the Dormammu in our daily lives? What sort of entity must we bargain with? Is it the fear of failure? Is it the crippling anxiety of “not being good enough”?
Even though the fears we hold may seem frantic & unruly, we are still their creator. Every emotion, each dreading anxiety, & paralysing doubt all start within you, & therefore only you have the power & authority to challenge them. It is easier said than done, I know. But in this chaotic realm, there is an indisputable territory of control which remains.
We must be more persistent than the version of ourselves who wants to give up.
Bargaining is costly because we pay with our pride. Each time we dust ourselves off to stand is a time we must acknowledge we had fallen. Like Strange, every time we make a bargain, we die a dozen tiny deaths. Every time we try again, we are reminded of those deaths. Yet, it is only through this continual depletion of ego we find room to accumulate hope.
When we have failed enough, the fear of “failing” loses its fangs. We become braver, we become wiser, we become more resilient in chasing a life we know we deserve.
So, it is not really a cost, but more like an investment. You invest with your ego bruise, with your broken illusions of not being this kind of person yet. With failed attempts & hard-earned lessons, smart investments are bound to compound.
There may not be much of a difference after two weeks. You might even have to wait two years for a slight change to occur, but honestly, who cares? Time passes anyway. Instead of spending it dwelling on the fact you cannot do this thing just yet, why do we not just try again, practice again, fail again?
The more we try, the more we know, & the more we know, the better we become. All this time, I have treated success as if it were a talent show, where the winning crown is only reserved for the best of the best. But I know now, this is a scarcity mindset to focus on the lack ~ lack of resources, of opportunity, of talent. This way of thinking is its own dark dimension; it keeps us paralysed in a state of constant, vibrating anxiety, convinced, if we do not win now, the chance will vanish forever.
But winning is more like building a house. When we view each “try” not as a final product, but as a single brick, the house eventually builds itself through the simple, repetitive act of placement. The world is filled with an abundance
of bricks & an abundance of chances & do not require us to defeat a rival or beat a clock. They only require the bravery to pick them up.
Winning, then, is just the residue of a thousand failed bargains. It is the moment when the world finally yields to the consistency of your presence. So, we return to the loop. We face the versions of ourselves who are tired, the ones bruised by the cost of the bargain, & we pick up the next brick.
The house exists because the builder did not stop at the first stone. We do not have to be the smartest, the fastest, or the most talented. We just have to be the one who refuses to stop showing up. Tomorrow, the sun will rise, the loop will reset, & we will walk back in, chin up, ready to bargain one more time.
After all, winning is only a matter of staying long enough.
Just few observations again dear friends & provide an opinion in my world. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your being here. If my journey encourages you also, all is well with my soul. Looking forward to next week; this is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson with best wishes.
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